


An Old Feeling

by deservetobesaved (andloushallguideme)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, First Kiss, Fluff, Jealous Castiel, Jealous Dean Winchester, Love Confessions, M/M, Sometime in season 12/13
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-02
Updated: 2018-04-02
Packaged: 2019-04-17 14:15:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14190789
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/andloushallguideme/pseuds/deservetobesaved
Summary: Castiel thinks Dean will never love him back so he decides to try and move on. Cue jealous!Dean and confessions galore.





	An Old Feeling

“You come here often?” Dean leered at the woman sitting at one of the dark oak tables in the library, receiving a red-lipped smirk in return. Sam rolled his eyes while he skimmed a book about ancient Greek spells a few feet away. Castiel, who stood next to Sam, narrowed his eyes and walked away and into another aisle where he couldn’t see them.

He read the books’ titles mindlessly, not even realizing that the aisle he was in was the ‘Teen Fiction’ section. He heard the woman who was talking to Dean giggle and he sulked; he wondered how many more times he’d have to listen to the same scene play out. It was different women but the same scenario. Sometimes it’d just be flirting, other times he saw him head out with them on his arm. Dean hadn’t done the latter that often lately; it seemed he was much more preoccupied with averting catastrophic supernatural disasters.

Nevertheless, it chipped away at Castiel bit by bit. He had come to the realization that Dean could never love him like he did. He loved him like a brother, he said. Like a friend. Best friend, even. But best friends did not yearn for their friend like Castiel yearned for Dean.

In that library in that small random town in Montana, he resolved to move on from his best friend once and for all. He couldn’t bare to just leave him and run away, as he would only miss him. He decided he’d follow Dean’s suit and flirt with others, too. What would be the harm in trying?

___________________________________________

“Need anything else, handsome?” The young blue-haired waitress leaned a little on the table, next to where Castiel was sitting. She had been flirty towards him since walking in and Castiel had reciprocated. Dean’s hand froze for a second as he was about to cut into a waffle, but then he continued, not looking up. Sam smirked a little and took a sip of his water.

“No, thank you… Arabella.” He smiled at her after reading her name plate on her shirt and her face reddened. She nodded and walked away, stumbling a little while navigating through the half empty tables in the diner. Castiel had to admit it was nice feeling… wanted.

“Someone’s got a crush,” Sam said, raising his eyebrows.

“She’s just being nice,” Castiel replied, swirling a spoon in a cup of coffee he hadn’t touched. He looked up to see Sam smiling and Dean looking passive. Sam chuckled while his brother said nothing. Castiel thought it odd as he thought Dean would offer pointers, like he did the last time a waitress flirted with him. What was up with him?

Twenty minutes later Dean abruptly asked for the check, not saying a thing when the receipt had a phone number along with a smiley face. He wordlessly handed it to Castiel and got up to leave.

“That’s weird. He didn’t even finish his chicken.” Sam pointed at the half empty plate and followed Dean, who was already getting into the impala outside.

______________________________________

When they got to the bunker, Sam made a beeline to his room, claiming he needed to watch the latest episode of Game of Thrones. Dean and Cas lingered by the big table in the center.

“So, are you gonna call Arabella?” He pronounced her name with a hint of malice, and Castiel furrowed his brows confusedly.

“Maybe,” he replied quickly. Why did he say her name like that?

“Well maybe you shouldn’t. Dating isn’t a good idea for our line of work,” he said gruffly, finally looking up at Castiel with a serious, unreadable expression.

“Who said anything about dating?”

Dean blinked in a perplexed manner, like he didn’t expect those words to come out of Castiel’s mouth.

“She could just be a quick lay, right? Isn’t that what you call them?” Cas stared at Dean defiantly, internally wondering why Dean sounded so annoyed at the idea of him sleeping around. It wasn’t Castiel’s style anyway, to have one-night stands, but he was trying to make a point.

“No, I don’t call them that,” he retorted with a hurt look on his face, gone before Castiel could detect it.

“Well that’s what they are, aren’t they?” He stepped closer to Dean, who was only a foot away.

“I’m just saying you shouldn’t lead someone on!”

“Why?”

“Because. Because…” He glanced away and then back at Cas, who looked incredulous.

“Oh, I see. You can sleep around, but I can’t? Why, Dean? Why are you the exception to every rule?” He glared at him, suddenly angry at how hypocritical he was being.

“I’m not, I just…” he stopped and looked determinedly not at Cas. He fidgeted with his hands and shifted his weight, ultimately sighing tiredly.

“Yeah, figures.” Castiel walked towards his room and left his so-called friend alone. He walked to his empty room and closed the door with a little too much force.

He sat on the bed and looked at the chipped drawers beside him. He opened the first one and saw that Dean had placed a package of socks and briefs. He had told him, “I know you don’t have to shower and stuff but I thought maybe you’d want to change it up and wear, I don’t know, blue socks one day rather than boring white ones.” After he said this his cheeks reddened, and he quickly walked away to his own room. Castiel had been endeared and quietly added, “Thanks, Dean.”

The memory almost made him forget about why he was mad at him until he heard footsteps out on the hallway and three timid knocks. He didn’t respond, and Dean took that as a cue to go in. Castiel didn’t look at him and instead concentrated on the gray wall before him.

“I’m sorry for being a dick, Cas. I didn’t mean to say you couldn’t- shouldn’t date or fuck someone else or whatever. You can and should do what you want, obviously, you can make your own choices… Even if I don’t agree with them.” Dean said this in one big breath of air and he sighed; looked down at his scuffed boots. Castiel finally looked up at him and stood up, facing him. Dean’s eyes met his and they stared at one another expressionless.

“I forgive you, Dean. I’m sorry for yelling at you. You, too, can make your own choices. I didn’t mean to judge you.” Castiel stepped closer and his eyes softened. He bit his lip nervously as Dean tilted his head slightly.

“Well you were right, anyhow. The women I flirt with or sleep with- I don’t really care for them. It’s just… a way to pass the time, I guess. Sometimes I wish I didn’t have to do it,” he replied. He gulped and his eyes fell to Castiel’s blue tie.

“Well, you don’t have to…” Castiel said tentatively.

“It’s how I cope, Cas. With this life, with my emotions.” He air quoted the last word and rolled his eyes at himself.

He continued and said, “I have to because… the person I want doesn’t want me the way that I want them.” Dean licked his lips swiftly and refused to meet Castiel’s eyes.

“What person?” Castiel asked gently, almost whispering. His heart had sped up considerably and he willed it to shut up. Dean stayed quiet for what seemed like a long time, but he finally looked up and blinked tiredly. He looked like was giving something up.

“You.” He said it resolutely and shielded his eyes with his hand, like was nursing a headache.

“How long have you felt this way?” Castiel finally replied, feeling light and heavy at the same time.

“A long while.” They were looking at each other with their arms at their side, breathing in sync. They were frozen at the spot.

“So if you think you can’t have me, then no else can?”

“Yeah.” Dean looked down while admitting this. Castiel’s eyes widened in surprise at his friend’s easy admission.

“That’s pretty selfish.”

“I know.” Dean was gently kicking his heel against the floor, like a kid does when they’re being scolded.

“It’s too bad you’re wrong.”

Dean’s head jerked up, and his brows furrowed at Castiel’s words. Almost like if he was thinking, _are you saying what I think you’re saying?_

“You’re wrong in thinking I don’t want you,” he clarified.

Dean gulped and breathed deeply. He stared at Cas reverently and Castiel thought, is this how he looks at me when I’m not looking? How could I have missed this?

“In all my years of life, there are few things I’ve wanted… I don’t think I’ve wanted anything a fraction of how much I’ve wanted you. Meeting you, getting to know you, winning your affection; it’s the most beautiful thing I have ever experienced. So don’t stand there and tell me I don’t want you. I want you so much it hurts me, Dean Winchester.”

Castiel couldn’t believe he had said that out loud. Is that what dreaming felt like?

Dean’s mouth was slightly open in awe, it seemed, and before Cas could declare his love in an even more clear fashion, he stepped forward from the doorway and kissed him fervently. He kissed him like he had been waiting to do so for centuries, like he was in a desert and finally managed to get to that glass of water he had seen miles away. Castiel was stunned for several seconds and he felt Dean back up slowly, but before he could do so he reacted and held onto his waist strongly. They kissed for a long time, engulfed in one another; pressing their bodies so close together that Cas felt as warm as if he was standing before a fireplace. They finally pulled away after several minutes and laid their foreheads against one another’s, their hands clasped at their sides.

“You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting to do that,” Dean whispered, like he was afraid he was going to ruin a moment. He looked up at Cas and smiled, biting his bottom lip. He kissed his lips once more and gently laid his forehead on his shoulder.

“I think I do.” Castiel smiled, too, and placed his hand on Dean’s head, stroking his soft hair with his thumb, and for the first time in a long time, everything was right.

**Author's Note:**

> I don't think there will ever be enough love confession fics so here's another one. Thanks for reading! :)


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